The roast desk
01FEATURED TAKES
The roasts worth printing.
The takes the editors pulled for the record — one rig, one voice, one clean hit each.
Lead take
Ah, the Fender Stratocaster – still the king of guitars, but paired with a Boss Katana? Good grief! Back in my day, we used tube amps that didn't sound like a glorified microwave! And what in the world is this pedalboard? You've got more overdrives than a 70s rock band had guitarists! I mean, who needs five different ways to sound like you're stuck in a traffic jam? Just plug in a Tube Screamer and call it a day!
Lead take
Ah, the Fender Stratocaster – still the king of guitars, but paired with a Boss Katana? Good grief! Back in my day, we used tube amps that didn't sound like a glorified microwave! And what in the world is this pedalboard? You've got more overdrives than a 70s rock band had guitarists! I mean, who needs five different ways to sound like you're stuck in a traffic jam? Just plug in a Tube Screamer and call it a day!
Ah, the Fender Stratocaster – still the king of guitars, but paired with a Boss Katana? Good grief! Back in my day, we used tube amps that didn't sound like a glorified microwave! And what in the world is this pedalboard? You've got more overdrives than a 70s rock band had guitarists! I mean, who needs five different ways to sound like you're stuck in a traffic jam? Just plug in a Tube Screamer and call it a day!